我可曾說過我向來是個悲觀的人呢?

人生裡最害怕失望,怕自己一旦對生活上各種事情對未來發展甚至對人際關係有任何期望,結果到頭來還是一場空;寧願退一步想,消極地不再期待便不會因為求之不得而感到失落。

跌得最痛那一次,滿以為自己即使不是最頂尖的一群總會擠進學科的狹隘門檻;期望換來的卻是不留情面的拒絕。要站起來,倒是不容易。

又有一次,期望朋友待我如我待人,最終卻不如期許,不禁撫心自問,是我期望太高了嗎?

每每意欲保護自己的我,自此以後,不再期望開花結果。

所以,無論得到別人的喜愛與認同、獲得一份不錯的工作還是愜意的人際關係,對我來說,都是額外的獎賞。

***

有閞兩周一聚,參閱 Hevangel 或【兩周一聚】。

4 thoughts on “怕”

  1. 噢,我與你的遭遇好相似,
    也是被學院拒絕,也是覺得朋友待我不如期望,
    因為我是一個很重視朋友的人,而自問對朋友也不錯,
    但換來卻是如此,有時我會自我反省是否自己要求太苛,
    所以後來我改變自己,將一切都變得淡淡然,
    任何情感都變得淡然,這一來失望傷心也自然會減低吧,
    這也是自我保護的一種…
    估不到遇到同類人呢~

  2. > … 有任何期望,結果到頭來還是一場空;

    This is tough sometimes.

    > 寧願退一步想,消極地不再期待便不會因為求之不得而感到失落。

    While I understand but this seems to go very far. (too far?)

    > 跌得最痛那一次,滿以為自己即使不是最頂尖的一群總會擠進學科的狹隘門檻;期望換來的卻是不留情面的拒絕。要站起來,倒是不容易。

    I like people like Bill Buxton, Bruce Mau, Randy Pausch, et al. One thing I learn from them is the fun and joy in the pursuit of excellence and not necessary being “excellence” itself. In fact, if Bill taught me one thing, it is the fact of trying and failing a lot, that will create excellence.

    > 對我來說,都是額外的獎賞。

    For me, I expect very little even sometimes I try very hard and I see everything as “bonus”.

    For me, (this will sound like a car ad), it is the pursuit of excellence and not necessary being “excellent”. It is the changing of the world (one tiny baby step at a time).

  3. 做乜寫到咁down ar… always keep the faith “the Best is yet to come” in mind….
    Then you will live every day happily

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